1 post tagged “life philosophy”

I have spent most of my life waiting for that unspecific moment in the indeterminate future when 'everything' is going to be 'all right'. By 'all right' I mean 100 percent to my liking, not morally improved. And by 'everything' I mean having enough money, enough friends, and my dream house. I have devoted all of my energy to exploring every avenue I could imagine might raise my life to such heights. I have fallen spectacularly short. But just yesterday I stumbled on a very liberating realization. 'Everything' is never going to be all right. I don't say that with any maudlin or angry or self-pitying nihilism. It's just the truth. Planet earth, people. 2008. 'Everything' will be what and however it is. Now. I can face, enjoy, curse, experience, delight, despair, abhor, feed off, grow from, etc. what is now. Or I can keep my gaze calmly on the ever potential horizon and always be dissatisfied with both my current circumstances and the failure of the idealized future to arrive. I am, for the first time in my life, ready to embrace that former approach. Everything in my life is all right. Because it is what I have right now, and in this moment I cannot make very much different. But if I keep working on them certain things will probably change. And that has to be success enough. Because the outcome is not guaranteed. Only my efforts are. I celebrate this realization because it is helping me to focus. I want a lot of things from moment to moment and I indulge those whims sometimes. But I often lose sight of the big picture. Instead of running around balming the twin disappointments of not having what I want now nor having any promise that it is coming. I want to take a longer view. What does it take for me to enjoy now? What can I do to make later different in the ways I most desire? I have to answer the questions I asked this morning. What do I want? What are my values? How am I going to stand up for them and create the life I want? Those are fun questions to answer : D